THE HEART

Who lives in a heart like this
The door is open wide
The outward signs are promising
But let's take a look inside

The person who lives here would seem
To know just what he's after
No scripture texts upon the walls
And thoughts of God bring laughter

No Bible by the bedside lamp
Replaced by Sunday papers
The silver ashtray overflows
With nicotine remainders

The guest rooms are all occupied
By envy , greed and lying
But the greatest clue to who lives here
The owner's slowly dying

So there you have the evidence
But before you make decisions
Remember , Satan doesn't have to stay
He only rents accommodation

BAPTISM

Fear of the unknown is a terrible thing
That's why baptisms fill me with worry
One minute he's fast asleep in your arms
The next , he's screeching like a canary

You nervously smile and somebody smiles back
As the redness descends to your navel
And you wish you were somewhere else , not here
When he tugs at the minister's Bible

It would all have been fine but the relatives came
And took all the available seating
And if Junior is bad , I've some unmarried aunts
Who'll remind me about it all evening

I remember last time , everything's going fine
'Till the vicar decides to show 'handsome'
So off down the aisle he parades with a smile
And not even a note for the ransom

The Lord bless thee and keep thee , what a wonderful sound
The whole service had such a good spirit
Just a pity we had to give him four names
To please both sets of grandparents

MISSION

Let's have a mission
Maybe the week after next
We can print leaflets in pastel colours
And insert a well known text

I know a speaker
I'm sure he'd draw a crowd
We can line up some mouth-watering testimonies
And soloists who aren't too loud

There are plenty of Christians
Who'd love to come along all week
And if anyone else decides to appear
I'm sure we can find a few more seats

Let's have a mission
It's been far too long since the last
There's nothing like a good heart warming sermon
To make the winter evenings pass

HARVEST

We ploughed the fields again tonight
Then scattered to our homes
The ladies donned their new delights
For the annual fashion show

The choir had made some signings
To swell their anthem praise
On loan from other churches
Or returned from bygone days

The church was overflowing
With long forgotten faces
And others who would just attend
On special church occasions

And uncles,aunts and nephews
The family dog as well
And new found mates of either sex
Were gracefully revealed

The rich fool lost again this year
You'd think he'd get the message
There's no one like that sitting here
His loss is our advantage

The mustard seed grows more and more
The vineyard still needs workers
And there we sit and see the Word
More suited to our neighbour

We ploughed the fields again tonight
And filled our brains with plenty
The offering plates were overflowed

But many hearts left empty